1500 Days of Dipping...what happened next

The next chapter of my dipping journey.

If you've been here for a little while, you'll probably know about my 1500 days of dipping story. If not, do head back to that post first - and watch the short film Ben Holbrook made here. Today I'm going to share what happened since it ended, why I stopped, and what I've learned since.

I can't start this without reiterating just how much I took from my daily dipping journey. And a lot has happened since I celebrated hitting 1500 days in a row, some of which I think you'd like to know about.

As you might already know, my daily dipping journey began from a place of fear of the sea, alongside a longing to get to know it and embrace it. I was afraid of waves, jelly fish and sharks...as well as anything else that might brush my leg underwater! I daily dipped from September 2019 until October 2023, taking just one week off in that whole time - due to being in a car crash, having a mild concussion and a cut on my scalp glued back together.

In my time of daily dipping I've become far more comfortable in waves - in the past I would have compltely freaked out at the sight of a 3 foot wave coming towards me, and nowadays I am much more able to assess, understand and work with the waves. I caught myelf by surprise recently whilst hosting a moon gathering; a friend of mine was visiting and had come along to our session - which ended with a dip in the sea. She was very nervous of the waves, and I could see the same concern on her face as I'd have felt just a couple of years ago, at what was actually a pretty rough sea. I guided her in past the break-point, and reassured her that the waves would go under us, instructing her when to jump as the mound of water approached. I had a little jolt of realisation in that moment, at just how far I'd come. Don't get me wrong - I still much prefer calm, still waters...but I've learned to not only face, but embrace the waves too.

Next, the dreaded jelly fish. After 1500 days of daily dipping, and one year on I hadn't once been stung. However, last autumn I went to Madeira and was keen to get a daily dip in whilst there. One day, this meant going in a small bay that was almost like a big rock pool due to rough seas elsewhere. It was shallow, and I immersed my body under the water. I kept feeling something squishy under my hands and feet - didn't overthink it too much, but fairly quickly got out. On starting to dry myself off I began to feel patches of discomfort, where bumps were appearing on my skin, followed by finding a few dark purple tenticles clingign onto me. I realised I'd finally been stung by a jelly...but not just once - both forearms, both legs, my bum and wrist all got badly stung! It wasn't at all pleasant, and the stings left their marks for weeks! But it didn't kill me, and I can finally say I've been stung by a jelly fish - and despite the much higher chances, it didn't even happen in Wales. So thankfully, it hasn't put me off getting in our Welsh waters - but I will be double checking the water abroad before I dip!

Lastly, the big one. I had taken that same evidence from the jellies to help with this fear; of all the hundreds and hundreds of times I got in the sea, I didin't once see a shark. And this has been enough to mostly allow that fear to fade away - the intrusive thoughts still pop up every now and then, especially if I'm in deeper water - but generally it isn't something that had worried me about going in the sea at all in more recent times...

Until I chose to put myself right infront of one.

Yes, you read that right, and yes there's more to tell! After being afraid of sharks my whole life, I somehow ended up choosing to meet one.

I'l rewind a little first. In September 2023 my partner and I went on a fantastic boat trip with Celtic Deep to Lundy Island; this had been a dream of mine for years. Being on the boat was special enough - we saw hundreds of dolphins, it was incredible. And that wasn't even the highlight of the trip; once at Lundy Island we snorkelled with seals. This was a push for me - we were in deep water, surrounded by big sea creatures. Whilst being an amazing experience, I was also completely terrified the whole time we were in the water! Of course, nothing bad happened, we were totally safe and the seals were curious, playful, as well as simply uninterested sometimes. Still, it felt like a huge win for me. On that trip we learned about the other offerings Celtic Deep provide; one of which being their blue shark trip, where they set out to the Celtic Deep, their namesake, which is a deep trench between Wales/South West England and Ireland. On this trip, they sought out blue sharks to snorkel with. At the time my partner was very interested, and I said I'd go along for the boat trip if he did go, with the mindset that I'd be joining for the experience from the boat and for moral support.

That time finally came around, almost one year on. Last minute, we joined a trip that was headed out on a sunny Sunday. I was pretty convinced that I would be staying on the boat throughout the whole trip, but went ahead and ordered all the kit hire "just in case". After a couple of hours heading out to sea, with some fantastic wildlife along the way, we anchored up in the deep water, and waited.

A couple of hours went by; we'd been prepped, and had already submerged ourselves in the sea to get used to being in the deep water - I was quite content just relaxing on the boat (not thinking too much about sharks if I'm completely honest) when suddenly one of the crew who was in the water waved and pointed. We all shot to the side of the boat and got a glimpse of a the beautiful big blue creature gliding beneath the surface. The shark was here. Everyone moved into action, following the protocol. Taking it in turns to get in the water, our group was third. Each time someone came out of the water they looked so awstruck and enthrawlled, that when it came to our turn, I didn't even think. I just followed through the motions - gloves on, weight belt on, snorkel on, fins on, get in water.

Once I was in the water, the fear emerged, but was massively helped by the fact that our guide Richard was on hand, knowing that I was very nervous of going in the sea. He barely offered his hand before I grabbed it and clung on for dear life. Knowing that I was alongside someone with so much experience of sharks made me feel much more comfortable. My partner excitedly made his was towards the end of the rope we were instructed to hold onto, whilst I stayed as close to the boat as possible.

And then I saw her. Thankfully, she was swimming beneath us (I would have been really scared if she had been at our level) but seeing her from above was spectacular. The bluest blue you've ever seen, on her skin, truly deserving the name of Blue Shark. After seeing her swim around for a minute or two, I thought I'd like to end on a high and get out quick - I'd done it, and now I wanted to make sure I got out alive! I made my way back to the boat, heaved myself back up onto the deck and started to offer my spot in the water to another participant. Just as she began to get ready, I realised I had a little more left in me...and decided to get back in for another look! Again, I only stayed in the water for a relatively short amount of time, but seeing the shark swimming around was mind blowing. She was so beautiful.

Since that incredible experience, I've felt a lot less scared of meeting sharks in the sea - largely because I have the insight that it took a two hour boat trip, and two hours of waiting to see a shark - which I found very reassuring!

In the 18 months since I stopped my daily dipping I have had a whole other journey. I'd decided to stop my daily dip because I was feeling more and more resentful about it, and it wasn't sparking the same joy that it once had - it really felt like a burden quite often, and although the lift it gave me was great; the weight that it was coming with wasn't seeming to balance it out anymore. Furthermore, I was taking a trip to Sri Lanka a couple of months after I reached 1500 days, and I knew I didn't want to be spending time searching for safe places to get in water there. So I finally let it go, after over four years of chasing cold water, I stopped.

Of course, I continued to dip. Sometimes a week would go by where I hadn't gotten in the sea or a river, then I'd pick it up again and get in every day for a week. It's been interesting to notice how my resilience has changed in that time, particularly when I strayed further from the sea. I can see how my daily dipping gave me an opportunity to reset every day, alongside a nice dopamine boost that made mentally hard days eaiser; and on the other hand I've had days where it would have literally been impossible to dip since - due to sickness, travel, or busyness. It's been a relief to let go of the hold that this strange challenge I'd set myself had on me, and I also feel the loss of the power it gave me.

Now, I feel I've reached a healthy balance. I thrive in spring, and I'm loving my early morning dips in my favourite spot - as well as some adventuring and seeking out other fun places to plunge. Sea dipping will always be a huge part of my life, and I'm so grateful for the strength and insights that my daily dipping journey gave me, as well as the fun and shared memories. But in some ways I feel even more proud of myself when I get in the sea now - knowing that I'm doing it out of my own volition, rather than to follow a rule I'd set myself. I feel even more empowered by that.